My little life.

Let see. Lots of exciting shit is going on in my life right now.
I'm taking prozac for my depression, and all of the sudden my anxiety is through the roof. I get anxious about the littlest things. I have "disordered" eating apparently according to this therapist, which doesn't surprise me. I don't think I have a social life anymore. TO put it bluntly I really just wanna fucking sleep until all this shit blows off, I'm just sick of life at the moment. Yesterday I had a panic attack it was probably the scariest and most painful thing I've ever experiance. I couldn't control my breahting and i was hyperventalating, my whole body was like paralyzed and I was dizzy and my hands were numb and i couldn't move at all. It was fucking freaky as hell. I thought I was gonna pass out or die. Anyways, thats life right now. And tommorow's monday and I really just would rather die then go to chemistry tommorow morning, because I hate how gay it is. I know i'm going to fail on wednesday, so why should i even bother? School's so pointless.

I DO!
I for sure want some god damn freedom, which I won't get. But I will recieve that when I move out! I will be able to watch all the R rated movies I want, buy booze get drunk all the time and do all the things my parents don't want me to do. I'm sick of everyone having to know what I'm doing, and where I am, and who I'm with. ARG. ITS FUCKING ANNOYING. I want to stay out all day and night, I want to live at other people's houses. I WANT TO DO THINGS THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO DO!! RAWR FEEL THE WRATH OF SARAH!!!!

Well, I'm done.

eh crap is happening and i don't feel like talking about it :)

So, my ipods now gone for awhile. I dont know how long it will be gone, but definatly a long time. My parents are pissed at me I can tell, even though they said they werent. They said they were concerned. So now I have to find some sort of hobby that I have to love, and I have to find my passion is what they want me to do. I dont know what my passion is. I dont even know what Im passionate about. And now I have to talk to some asshole councellor who doesn't know what the fuck their talking about. I guess it could be worse, I could be talking to a school one. But yeah. I wish I could just die in a little hole now? Like, honestly? What the fuck is wrong wiht me? How come I keep making this mistake??? Jeez I already got myself like fucking molested in the process. FUCK. Im so messed up. I want a hug. :( :(
I just want my nicola.

Uggg. Why does karen intent on making me feel like shit? FUCKINGGGGG I HATE YOU. Ok, so we're out at dinner karens being the little sippy bitch she always is. She brings up the topic of 'our' party. Which I dont want to have with her. She starts talking about all the things that SHE WANTS and never once asking me if I liked it. Then My mom suggests another party with just my closer friends, because she is going to invite all this other random people that shes not really friends with. Then karen bitches out saying: thats stupid, no we cant have another party. So my mom backs off. Then my family bitches at me because they think im being bitter, of course im pissed off, you only acknowledge what fucking karen says and if karen doesnt get her way, all hell breaks lose, right? So why even CONSIDER me? I try to speak up, but then just as I do, they bitch at me for not speaking up and saying something. Then I get bitched at some more. WAHOO.

Then I try to get them to drop it, and karen gets ranting on and on like the fucking bitch that she is and my parents dont do anything. So I just ignore her. ARGGG. This almost happens every motherfucking birthday I have. Its really depressing. I thought it would at least be a good one this year. But I guess not. I never have good birthdays. And it sucked too cause my mom was at work and my dad was out all day when i really wanted to spend time with them. I dont even know why im upset about this gay shit. Its ok I dont even get presents on my birthday, because all of the sudden mom said i was very uncertain about what I wanted. And I suppose I could get used to it, I never get presents and or NEAR my birthday. It doesnt really matter I guess. I dunno. Im probably just being a bitch. argg. But I came and told her what I wanted like two or three days ago. UGGG. Then she freaked out at me saying that I never did. Honestly, why cant I have a good birthday? The cake was good. That was it. The dinner sucked. I didnt even want to go out, cause whenever we do shit happens. Whatever at least I got to talk to my nannie today she wished me happy birthday and told me wish karen happy birthday, and I didn't. Woops. Everyone wished me happy birthday today, well at least the people i wanted to wish me happy birthday, except karen. I guess I can understand, but I don't care. Like things haven gotten to worse to fix with her so Im giving up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

"Leave me the fuck alone. Dont write crap about me, Sorry I like him; ARGH "


Public entry posted on Wednesday February 14, 2007, 7:41 pm


THIS IS ON HER BLOG ON NEX. PRETTY SURE ITS ABOUT NICOLA. COUNTLESS OTHER LITTLE ANNOYING BLOG ENTRIES SAYING: FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE, I HATE YOU. I WONDERRRR...

arg. karen you piss me off. Seriously get a fucking life. Its your own fault for not talking to nicola bout it. JESUS H CHRISTTT.


I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE THOUGH. :)

Ah, yes. My lust is um..crazy. All of the sudden Im attracted to my student math teacher who I just realized is really really hot. Ahaha. So guess who imagined myself like making out with him. NOT ME. haha Yeah. Im crazy and probably perverted but its all good. He smiled at me today. Heh. Im hopeless. I NEED A MAN.


LIFE IS KINDA BORINGGG I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITEEE.

Arggg. I dont know what the hell I want to do with my life and its pissing me off. I havent thought about what university I want to go, and I need to choose one because it decides weather or not I take a lanugage and if I take it in grade 11 instead and give up band which I dont want to do. But I dont want to do it in grade 10 either I want to do Drama. ITS REALLY PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRR. I just want to scream and I dont know what the hell to do. My parents arent helping one bit. I even went to that parent meeting thingy with my dad and it didnt help much at all.

I dont know what Im passionate about I dont know what I like, I dont know what I want to major in or whatever. I JUST HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA ABOUT LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Guess whos in a good mood?
MEE.
For once Im not actually tired and all crazy after school. IM IN A GOOD MOOD. YAHOO. GO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

AH.
My cat is underneath my desk and whenever i move my foot a tinch she attacks it and sinks her claws and teeth into my poor little foot. But its fun. Even though it hurts.

Today Savvy tried to attack her shadow it was really funnu. She made marks in my walls. Conversation today with my father after he bought little potato sticks

I was like: mmmm satured and trans fatsss then hes like: noo-wait. nevermind palm oils bad for you look at all this stuff. MUAHAHA. I only had like two and they taste like grease and salt and they are icky.


ARGGG. Also Karen was being uber bitch going over the same stuff with my dad again, saying how Nikki insults people and does stuff like that and saying all this shit behind her back. Then I laughed at her when she cried and freaked out cause shes like: You went and told her blah blah. and now blah blah. Then Im like: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL TO BE BETRAYED BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Except I just smiled and didnt say bitch at the end. :) Heheh. I added that just for effect. Haha.

But Im seriously so tired of her. RAWR I WANT TO STRANGLE. But I will not let that get in the way of my good mood. I will dance like a fool to panic at the disco, or headbang to rise against or billy talent.

"Leave me the fuck alone. Dont write crap about me, Sorry I like him; ARGH"
And I quote, this is from Karens blog on nexopia and Im pretty sure its to Nicola, who else? And the titles is: Im so mad.

Good for you Karen.

Anyways. I feel like a movie today, maybe like the messengers or Pans labyrinth. Or something. And I will round up people and force them to come to the movie. :) Hehehe.


LALALALALALALALALSALLALALALA


LIFE ISNT LIKE THIS LIFE ISNT LIKE THISSS

Sorry got a little carried away. I like that song. I have to figure out what courses I want to do in Grade ten and I have no fucking idea what I want to do. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So.
It was just me and mom last night, and we made STIRFRY. WOOOO. Go us. It was actually really good, Im suprised at my moms cooking ability. I also bought some Pocky. Its really good.





I command you to try it, and YOU WILL LIKE IT.

Around 1:30am i was bored and couldn't sleep so I took a bath hehehe Im awesome I know. And then today Karen tells me that she thinks she might have a tapeworm. Yeah, this is what I get for living with this depression axiety freak. She obbesses over like stuff she can catch like, the flu, cold, cough, that sorta stuff. EXCEPT. She thinks shes gonna die. She obesses with death and goes crazy about it. Its annoying. I think everyone in my family denies things. So if karen tells my dad she has a tapeworm, he'll say that she doesnt and thats silly just to comfort himself, cause he has depression axiety too. AHHH EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY IS PHYSCOOOOOOOOOOOOO

13. What happend in 06 that you didn't think would ever happen?
Hmmm some unfortunate person in my family did the unthinkable stupidest thing that i've heard in my entire life


WTF KAREN YOU HOE. DONT GO AND WRITE SHIT IN YOUR BLOG ABOUT ME YOU FUCKING CUNT.


30. One wish for 2007?
TO KICK ONE OF MY MOST OBNOXIOUS FAMILY MEMEBERS IN THE ASS.



hahaha if anything its the other way around. karen cant kick my ass at all.
what a hoe bag. I hate her so much right now. Shes such a conformist, self absorbed, cocky, bitchy, little, prick and right now I hope she jumps off a cliff and dies.


RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

FEEL THE WRATH OF SARAH

So.
I had a pretty good christmas.:)
I had really random staking gifts though..
My dad put in, some random bath stuff, chocolate, gum, a book, and chips.
How random is that?
And the bath stuff was some french goat stuff.
Yes.

I got a digital camera and lots of money. :) Karen got sooo much money. She has almost 400 bucks. LYK AHHH.

The camera is so amazing. Its 6 megapixels and it has an image stabilizing thingy and its beauitful haha yeah.

I CANT WAIT TO HAVE DINNER
WOOOO

Ha.
Boys at my school can suck their penises.
EXCEPT FOR MY FRIENDS. :)


But.
Anyways.
I hate mondays. But I like mondays when I dont realize its actually monday..Im kinda stupid. I dyed my hair black. Its wonderful. Yes your jealous of its hotness.

I really hate fake people at my school, wait. Hold the PHONEEE EVERYONE IS FAKEEEE EVEN IF WE DENY IT WE'RE ARE REALLY JUST A BUNCH OF FAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.


yeah I dont know what im saying.
goodbye.
BTW: I dont like this whole crazy issolated feeling I have. It really sucks.

I have female issues, a headache and a very bad cough that will not go away. I am not in the holiday spirit. My mom is being an annoying little bitch and won't leave me alone, Karen is a being a dick and my brother is being a dick. The only person not being a penis is my dad and my friends. Go them.